NOT YOUR WINTER STOCK

You know, everybody finds flattery in being wanted by somebody. However, for me this takes a whole other turn when someone will refer to me as “Winter Stock”. 

As I stated in my previous posts about Chubby Girls and Body Shaming, I’m a chunky shorty. Call myself “Chubbz” sometimes. I take pride in my apprearance cause I got the curves.  Thats the way I am. However it saddens me when men try to make me feel like theres something wrong with looking the way I do.

Labelling someone as “Winter Stock” is a form of body shaming. How dare you say that I’m only good for the winter season ?! Do you even know me? Do I look like a blanket? During hot seasons, skinny and petite girls are the preference?

Men make women feel inferior by giving them these tags. To them its harmless or even in some twisted way, a compliment, but when you read into what theyre actually saying is certain women are only good for certain periods of the year. So a chubby girl isnt good for Summer, why? You want a woman but you cant even respect her enough to look past her body? Are we just bodies to be utilised for physical conquests and pleasure only? No! We are people with feelings and intellect!
For some odd reason men feel like they’re doing you a favour by wanting you for Winter. You were not born to be anyone’s blanket. Funny thing about me is that I have a naturally cold body. Throughout the year my hands, legs, feet, nose and lips are always cold. So im not the “winter stock” you want honey. Im a cold bitch. Literally

So ladies, dont let these guys lower your self esteem and make you feel some type of way because of your body. Do not let people’s opinions dictate your life like that. If they want to call you a seasonal stock, let them be. Maybe they’re not good enough for you anyway.

You are every season, every month, every week and everyday stock! You are radiant mama. Flaunt those curves 12months non-stop! 

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Ladies…Don’t use 1ply Toilet Paper

Everytime I talk about this, there is always someone who calls me a “cheesegirl” or “rich” or insists that I’m being “extra”. It’s tags I’ve learned to ignore because I know what they don’t know.

I know I’m not the only person who sees and feels how frail and fragile 1 ply toilet paper is. Sometimes you’ll have flu and attempt to blow your nose with it and most of the contents would end up tearing through its weak structure. Imagine wiping your vagina or anus with it.

I find ladies to be at a disadvantage when it comes to the vaginal area. Its so easy for bacteria or foreign matter so make its way through there. I know I’m not the only one who when using 1ply toilet paper, is left with shreds of it on the vagina due to the fact that its weak and disintegrates easily. As much as this is untidy and irritating, it is also a massive health risk. These shreads of toilet paper can put you through hell if they make their way into the vagina. You could suffer from bladder infections, cysts, vaginal infections, discharge and also a shift in your vaginal pH level and so on. The moment an unnatural particle makes its way into the vagina, you’re screwed. Except a penis ofcourse- we support that object😂🍆

My previous illness has led me to be extra, extra, extra careful about anything that happens in my vaginal area. You can call me picky or obsessive but I insist on Baby Soft toilet paper. Though it may be more expensive than 1 ply toilet paper, it is still the best for me. When I wipe after I have urinated, there aren’t any disintegrated shreds of toilet paper stuck on my vagina. Its strong enough to withstand the urine and doesn’t tear afterwards.

So in order for me to make sure nothing like that happens to me, I always have some toilet paper in my handbag when I am going somewhere because you never know what type of toilet paper is in some people’s toilets. Sometimes I forget, I’m human, and I have to use the questionable, weak brand. When I get to my place after such an occurence, I use Gynaeguard to wash my vag so all the foreign matter is washed off before it stays there for too long, causing a disaster.

And as Trevor Noah once asked before “2 PLY FOR WHAT???????….Well….2 PLY FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!

5 Reasons Why Xhosa Girls Are Good Girlfriends

Firstly…

Ndingu MaRhadebe

uBhungani

Mthimkhulu

Ndlebe ntle zombini

I am a Xhosa girl. I click my tongue and say words like “sana” and “kaloku”. I pride myself in all this. Today is all about my Xhosa girls! Here are the top 5 reasons, in my opinion…why you should date a Xhosa girl.

1.Beauty👑

I speak for the many I’ve seen but hai sibahle sana!! We’re beautiful. There’s no doubt about it. There’s no Xhosa Butter bethuna. Yikrwatyityi (that orange sack) that we used to wash our bodies growing up. 😂😂 Jonga ngoku senza ama YESESS🔥

2. Domesticated👰

We’re pretty domesticated. We can cook, clean and make your room eback seem like a warm home.😂You’ll even forget everything is in 1 room.

3. Financial Management:💰💳

😂 Apparently Xhosa girls love money. I wouldnt know cause I like my money more than anyone else’s. They’re partly mistaken. Xhosa girls are just good with finances…the spending part. But don’t worry, we’ll help you spend it on the right things.

4. That clicking tongue👅

Pronouncing the “Q” and the “X” really strengthens your tongue and mouth. Thats all I’m going say. Make your own deductions😈

5 SiGreat! Senza umrifithi!!💯

Haters are gonna hate. Potatoes are gonna potate. But who came up with “ziRight igirls”?? “Mntase”? “Gqwirhy”? “uLife utricky chomie”? A Xhosa person! Sina “that thing” in tons marn. Undeniable. 😂 More than anything, what makes us so great is how fiesty we are. Siyaqhuma mntase.🔥

Anyway, dont let social media fool you. Xhosa women make great girlfriends❤

Go See A Gynaecologist📣

Ive noticed there’s this fear when it comes to pap smears and going to the gynea. As though you’re gonna feel the pain. Like they’re gonna take a whole chunk of your cervix. When in actual fact the only thing you feel is the small pain from speculum used to open you up a bit.

Anyway Im not an OBGYN. Im not qualified in the medical field but I am a female who has been through 2 gynaechologically related surgeries within the 60 something days of this year. That was not a rosey journey for me, so I feel like I should share what was wrong with me to begin with. Maybe someone out there could be saved by reading this because gynaechological problems are sometimes fatal.

I started having menstrual problems in my matric year, 2010.(Yes I’m old!). I’d have my forever period. Thats what I used to call them…cause they went on for forever! Literally 2 months of bleeding. People would say I’m getting lighter when in actual fact I was becoming pale from so much blood loss. I remember being in Mr Kumar’s English class, 1st period and I remember feeling blood dripping down between my legs down to stain my white socks. See it wasnt 1 of those 3-4 pads a day type of period. It was the whole pack of pads a day kind. 

I started using contraceptives which normalised my flow for a bit till the tap would be opened again. So for years on end, I hopped from 1 contraceptive to another, from Dr to Dr, specialists, clinics….the works! But nothing. I even got to a point where after I was hospitalized from fainting due to severe blood loss- prescribed MENOPAUSE MEDICATION!! Yes! At 24, my mother and I were on the same medication but my dose was stronger. I wont lie, the medication helped abit…until 1 Dr told me that just a few days prior to my appointment, he had seen a woman who had cancer because of the chronic use of this medication. Because my mom and my cousin suffered from the same problem in their youth, I decided to just let it go. Maybe it would go away by itself as I grew. But no….

So I rang into 2017 with backpain and cramps. I just thought it was the effects of the busride from Mthatha to Joburg then a taxi to Mafikeng. Little did I know what was happening inside of me. My period started on the 4th of January 2017. When it didnt stop after a week, I decided to take contraceptives again thinking my forever period is back. 2days later, the flow was getting worse, the cramps, when I urinated I felt like screaming from the immense pain. Being a soldier’s girl, I decided to be strong and ride it out. The night of the 30th of January I could not sleep because of the pain I was in. So at 4am I took a bath and at 5am I headed out to the nearby Gynaecological Hospital. 

That day, my life would change. I spoke to an OBGYN about all my symptoms and basically laid out my life story. Ultrasound found I had fibroids and endometriosis. Pap smear results a week later found that I had cancer indicators. Imagine hearing those kind of news and you’re so far away from home. I felt myself becoming cold. I cried soooo much. I remember the emptiness I felt when I had to let my mother and  partner know that I needed surgery to remove the parts of my cervix that showed I could develop cancer.

Anyway, fast foward to 4weeks- post both my surgeries- I have no indicators of cancer, no more fibroids and all the endometrioma have been burned off. Currently recovering from all that.

So here’s what I’ve learned:

•GO FOR A PAP SMEAR EVERY YEAR!! Some people wont feel anything and never develop symptoms but you never know whats going on inside of you.

•Don’t ignore your symptoms or any pain. It wont just go away by itself.

•Be honest with your Gynaecologist. That person doesnt know whats going on so its up to you to give the full story.

•Ask questions! Dont sit there and be a sponge. Its your body. You have to know whats going on with you.

I hope my story will make you see the importance of pap smears and gynaecologic visits. If I had not gone that day, maybe in a year or so I would have cervical cancer. 

Health Motivator or Body Shamer? 


Theres no doubt that being healthy and active is definetely the “in-thing”. My feed on Instagram is overflowing with posts about clean eating, exercise and general health. Fitness motivators flex their muscles and share the secrets about how to get a flat tummy , thick thighs and a bomb ass.

I feel like its time I talk about this cause I’m not a small girl. No honeyyyy….I got the hips, the thighs, the cellulite, the hello-bye arms (flabby arms), the chubby cheeks, the big bum and by God’s grace…no potbelly! (Starts praying in tongues🔥🔥🔥)

In 2015, I decided to join the movement and become a Herbalife distributor. No shade to Herbalife but their products really work. I went from weighing 88.2kg to 73.1kg. The territory that comes with being a distributor is having to find people to sell the products to which are more often than not overweight. Its not always easy because some people will reject what you’re trying to sell them which is just fine. Ive seen people, after being rejected, turning around and belitteling the person behind their back.

It makes me angry when these healthy lifestyle motivators post memes about overweight people in an attempt to show what they dont want to look like. Thats body shaming! We cant all look alike. We cant all be skinny! Some people like ass and places to hold on to. Just because you dont want to look a certain way, doesnt give you the right to belittle other people. You dont know what they’re going through and what the reason behind their weight is. It reminds me of myself in 2012. I would eat chips (amaskopas) all day, everyday in an attempt to lose weight. The only thing that insanity yielded was really bad ulcers that would cause me to wake up with blood in my mouth. People develop eating disorders because other people who fit the bill on “how people should look” -whatever the hell that means- choose to ridicule them. There is a very thin line between motivating someone to lose weight and be healthy and making them feel inferior and less of a person because of their weight.

Ive been made to feel so little because of how much I weighed. It made me feel less of a person when people called me “mafutha”. I mean…my name is Yolanda. My fat has nothing to do with that! People would always tell me your BMI says you’re obese!! You’re gonna die fat!! Or you wont fit into the door! Or I’m sure your bed has a hole where you sleep!! Imagine all those mean things! 😢After losing weight, people still told me I was fat. What a jacked up society we live in!

And besides, who created the BMI thing hmmm??? Someone who wanted to feel better about how skinny they were by making other people feel like they’re not good enough? All because a number has now catagorized you as obese or overweight? We tend to forget that no matter how much someone may weigh, they’re still a person with feelings at the end of the day.

Ive been fat shamed so many times in my life. By family, boyfriends, “friends”… but making the choice to lose weight was mine. People need to understand that losing weight is not something small. You need to be emotionally and mentally ready to do it.

So to end off, I’d like for body shaming to stop. It causes some deep psychological scars. Not 1 calorie will be added to your daily calorie intake if you dont ridicule them. Let people choose to be influenced positively and to join you in your healthy journey on their own free will rather than going about it the wrong way. 

No BS!

10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Alcohol 🍸

Since its Lent, I figured I should share what I’m giving up. Its Alcohol. Booze and I have a very colourful past that I’d like to forget😂. To help me feel good about why I choose to no longer drink, I came up with 10 reasons why YOU should quit alcohol too…even if its just for Lent.

1.Save Money

Look, lets be frank. Alcohol is expensive. Think what you could do with that money you save. Things that actually last longer than 24hours.

2.Calories

Heres something interesting…alcohol has empty calories. No nutritional value. I once met someone who told me that beer makes you crap so surely it has fiber😂 Maybe but if I want fiber I’ll have muesli or oats…something healthy. Gaining weight cause of liquor isnt part of my life goals hey. *chucks dueces*

3. NO HANGOVER

I struggled so much with hangovers. Literally made me regret drinking. Feeling crappy, headache, constipation, fatigue, hunger than never ends, throwing up…how awful! Thank God I quit!! 😧

4.You Start Feeling Better

Actually, I started feeling so much better when I stopped drinking. More energy and vitality. Imagine actually getting up and jogging on a Saturday morning without feeling crappy?! This does not apply to the 21 year olds…yall still fresh AF vele.

5. No Drunk Texts

See this, I’m the queen of drunk texting😂 give me a bottle of some good wine and a phone then you’ll know🙆. This will get you into so much unneccesary drama the following day. Pure regret!

6.Always remember what Happened

Mega memory! No more blackouts!! Imagine!!😂😂😂 Waking up the next day and telling everyone what happened is my favourite part of sobiriety!

7. Your Liver will thank you!

And the operative word here being LIVE. Alcohol attacks your liver mostly. Imagine being 30 and having a damaged liver cause uyagalela mos

8. Sperm Count

Alcohol lowers sperm count. Imagine the frustration of trying to have a baby later in life but dololo! And im not talking about the Mazwi syndrome…I’m talking about your swimmers being there but not being enough😂 (I’m really laughing) 

9. No Phuza Face🙌

I’ve seen so many people who go from gorgeous, glowing faces to this washed-out, dry/oily skin that looks so dehydrated. Literally go from beautiful to ugly. Ever wonder why you’re alwayd thirsty after a night of drinking? Alcohol dehydrates your body and skin. Hydrate mntase!

10. No more “I really did that?!” 😱

Ahhh my favourite words 😂 When you blacked out and did insane things like stealing from a street vendor and running away or piggy back riding strangers at Pick n Pay in the liquor aisle. I dont miss that at all. 
Anway I hope these reasons were enough to make you quit…even if its just 40 days.

Outgrowing People

I’ve always been labelled as a mean person. A hater even, but I’m unapologetic about the way that I am and the way way I live.

Life is not stagnant. We go through things. Things that change us, things that make us dig deep into our beings…who we really are. In all this growth, there are people we leave behind for so many reasons.

Some people always feel guilty about not sustaining communication. But in my hustle for a Communication Science degree, I’ve learned that communication is a 2way street. If someone doesnt make the effort to talk to you, then dont feel guilty. If they want to talk to you, they will…trust me.

Do not even get to a point where you’re beating yourself up about the friends you once had that you no longer talk to. We are growing, every single day, in every way. Dont feel guilty about outgrowing people. Some people are meant to be in your life for a certain period of time.

These days I find myself looking at people’s profiles on social media and thinking…”Wow. We were such good friends”. But I dont feel bad that we’re no longer friends because I doubt that who they are now and who I am now could ever really be friends. People change. People HAVE to change. It symbolises growth in most cases. Our value systems change, it comes with the territory of growing up.

However there are those ride or die people who’ve been with you since day 1. Loyal people who even if you dont see them for a year, your relationship still stays intact. I always see and hear High School kids calling each other “best friends for life” and thinking they’ll be with their current boyfriend/girlfriend forever😂😂😂 wooo Lawd!! The chances of that happening are so slim. You’ll lose 70-80% of your friends. Your partner…forget it B!

Anyway  Im not rude, but I just feel that if the last time I had a conversation with you was between 2010 and 2015, then dont call me wanting to catch up. Catch up on what? You dont know who I am anymore and I dont know who you are. I’ve done too much growing, done waaaay too much to give you the 411 on my life. If our paths are supposed to cross and yield a fruitful relationship then thats all up to God…NOT ME!! 

We are too old to be engaging in meaningless, irrelavent conversations that will do nothing for your life.Again, dont feel guilty about outgrowing people. This is life. These things happen.