1. “I’ve never done this before”: Chances are, we’ve done it before. We just don’t want you to know.
2. “I’m on my period”: Look, you’re going to have to understand that sometimes we just feel like hell spawned SOBs and we need something to blame all that f****ry on. And most times it’s cause we don’t want to see you and hear you breathe! Because you know damn well you’re not going to check what’s happening down there so you can’t argue. It’s mainly cause we are not interested in sexual shenanigans with you.
3. “It’s too big”: Poor man. It’s really not big but we’re probably no longer interested in the coitus because we saw that you’re not packing enough heat or something.
4. “I’m cumming”: Look at her face. Does she look like she’s climaxing? Nobody cums with a straight face unless they’re related to the Terminator or something. Reaching a climax is one of those uncontrollable feelings that no matter how cool you think you are, your face gives it away. I’ve used this lie so many times when I’m tired of a guy doing a bootyshake sort of thing when he’s supposed to be thrusting in an out. Could also be because the guy is a miserable lay🤷🏾♀️.
5. “I’m just bloated”: I know you ladies will relate to this one. You know when you’ve stuffed your face with carbs and your stomach is telling the story cause it plunges out a bit more than it did when you woke up? Then when someone asks about your stomach, especially a man- you say “It’s just bloating”🤣🤣🤣 Ah we’re not bloated. We’re just full but we don’t want to confess that. 🤣
6. “I’ll call you back”: FORGET IT! I Wont!
7. “I weigh …kg”: Some people, like me🤣, tell the truth about their weight because FU, you don’t pay my bills. Most women lie about their weight because numbers have a way of making you feel self-conscious so you shave off a couple of kilos on your original weight.
8. “That was great!”: Nah, actually it wasn’t. It was more mediocre, should’ve just stayed home and serviced myself. That’s the truth🤣
9. “I’m fine”: MAY DAY! 🚨MAY DAY!!! 🚨Houston, we have a problem!!! Nothing is fine! Fill out your will. Get life insurance cause it’s about to be World War III.
10. “I will NEVER cheat on you”: If you’ve ever believed this then LOL right at you! 🤣🤣🤣But you know, there are good women who really don’t cheat but it’s best, for your sake, that you don’t take this to heart when she says it. She could mean it or she could just be telling you just so you shut up.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. Trust it made you laugh a little as well. Follow, share and like my blog.
Thank you for reading.
Love and Light❤️✨