There are many things that hold us back as humanity. Like YouTube videos not playing when you lock your phone. 15% VAT. Guys with tiny dick prints. Data prices. People who don’t understand that having earphones on means you don’t want to talk. I’m already exhausted just thinking about the above-mentioned.🤦🏾♀️
The one thing we don’t realise is also holding us back is OURSELVES and the grudges we hold and refuse to forgive ourselves for.
One of the core characteristics about humans is that we err. We make mistakes, we do wrong. It’s human nature. Yes, some mistakes and actions may have dire consequences on ourselves and the people around us but how long will you be holding a grudge on yourself?
We walk around angry at not only the world but ourselves for things that we sometimes didn’t even have control over. Here, beating yourself up because someone did something to you. You start to wallow in misery and think you somehow deserve all that. You breed this negative imagine about yourself which needs more and more negativity to grow and you keep feeding it. You become angry at yourself and you refuse to forgive yourself. Oh no man. Don’t do that.
For years, I’ve had people treat me like complete rubbish. Used and abused then thrown away like I’m nothing. You relate? Great if you do! And for years on, I believed I deserved that and I wasn’t good enough. I was here angry at Yolanda for being Yolanda. Angry at Yolanda because I believed Yolanda wasn’t worthy. “Why are you not worthy Yolanda? Why?” – I’d ask myself.
My recent ex justified him cheating on me by saying “You can’t have kids”. That crushed my entire life because not only did I go through a copious amount of tests to make sure my fertility was good, I made sure he knew that nothing was wrong.
There I was, angry at myself. Angry that I got sick. Angry that I had cervical cancer. Imagine! What a dumb move! Angry at myself because someone wasn’t man enough to stick around and be there for me through my hard times. God! I can’t believe I ever felt that way. But within those feels, I walked around so angry that I had all these complications. Angry that maybe I wasn’t worth sticking around for. Angry at something I couldn’t control🤣This sounds so stupid now that I’m opening up about it.
I forgave myself for that BS and for ever entertaining someone who thought being a man was just about having a penis. I lifted that load off of myself because that’s not my problem.
Forgive yourself if you’ve done some things you aren’t proud of, your shortcomings. Forgive yourself if you haven’t achieved the things you set out to achieve. Forgive yourself if you didn’t make it. What’s good about being angry at yourself? God knows I’ve done things too but I let that go. The mere fact that you can acknowledge that you did wrong or you fell short means there’s hope for you! But darling, forgive yourself because “life is for living not living uptight” – Jay Z- Forever Young. This holding a grudge against yourself thing is another form of abuse on its own.
Forgive yourself for the things you’ve done and for what people have done to you. Forgive yourself for the horrible, narcissistic things that you know you have done. Forgive yourself for entertaining the wrong people who turned around and hurt you and made you question your own worthiness . You must understand that you cannot hold yourself responsible for the way people choose to act. That’s God and their parents’ problem, not yours.
The past is the past. Yes, it may influence the future but how long are you going to keep doing this to yourself? Stop that BS! You’re cutting your own life short.
Be kind to yourself.
Love and Light❤️✨
You’re more than welcome to comment and share the things you’ve had to forgive yourself for. It’s time to let things go.
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