Graduation Frustration

Let’s first get this out of the way so you can continue reading in peace. This is not a post about ridiculing you or making you feel small and unworthy, no child! I don’t do that! Its quiet opposite. Keep reading!

Gaudeamus Igitur… Thats the song most people relish to hear when they start pursuing their university studies. We start because we want to finish and be better people and get good jobs.

So you didnt graduate, but did you die? Is it the end of the world? Did all your teeth fall out? No. We set timelines for ourselves. That we’re going to do A and B by this age and C and D by this time. Most of the time these timelines are according to other people’s specifications about life and quiet frankly, they’re ridiculous most times because they don’t take into account how unpredictable life can be.

I was literally the epitome of the people I’m trying to encourage today. I started my studies in 2011. Mid 2011. I didnt even know what I was in for. All I knew was that I’m an outspoken individual with excellent command of English language, so I decided to go for a Bachelor of Arts in Communication Science.

The one thing people don’t tell you is how different university is from high school. Nobody cares about you! Nobody will hound you for assignments and ask you why you didnt write a test. No honey, your parents are at home. Those people are lecturers who are there because its their job. Nothing more.

I literally graduated yesterday after years of financial woes, losing the passion, doubting myself, health problems, module switch-ups, failing, stress, depression and anxiety. Man look, I’ve been through it all. Yesterday I witnessed my mom look at me and beaming with pride, I swear that was a beautiful moment. And how she shouted at the top of her voice in that hall calling out my nickname- now people know I’m Yoza (Gee thanks Mom!). Anyway, that moment made all the hardship I went through the years all worth it.

So the gist of this post is I understand. That the pressure, the sudden change of heart, the failing and every other thing that inhibits you from moving forward with your studies- its all part of it. I understand how it feels to absolutely hate graduation seasons. Looking at people’s pictures with complete envy. Not being able to be completely happy for your peers because you’re stuck in a rut asking yourself ‘but when am I going to graduate???’. I know exactly how all that feels.

See, we live in a world where according to people- if you don’t graduate at 21/22 then you’re doing something wrong. No ways! You’re going on the path God set for you. How is God’s path wrong? I’m 26 and I don’t feel some type of way about it. God distilled me like fine whiskey. Darling, I’m rich with knowledge and experience about life some people may never have. All my hardship has made me have depth.

People would ask me when I’m graduating, i would say “I will graduate when I’m good and ready. I’m still shy now”. That’s another question that pissed me off during the years. The “when are you graduating?” question. Someone literally has no fathoming of the financial details of your accommodation, your tuition or your allowance but they want to come and ask you when you’re finishing. Wow. That used to get to me. It made me avoid people. Didnt like going out much cause I was tired of answering these questions without seeming disrespectful.

So your day is coming too. If it can happen to me, the person my family thought would never graduate cause I “liked partying and drinking”- what translates into a social life for most people, then it will definitely happen to you. I surround myself with people who BELIEVE in me and that’s the first step really. Believe that you can and you will, because believing is accompanied by the effort needed to make that belief a reality. Last year I had Gaudeamus Igitur in my playlists, I wrote ‘Grad 2018’ on my wall and I prayed on it everyday and today I am proud to call myself a graduate. That’s how much I believed in myself.

Believe in yourself and work hard. God is on your side. Your time is coming. You WILL graduate!

A buck load of Love and Light❤️✨

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. YingYang says:

    Thank you for this post. You don’t know how much I needed to hear this. And Congratulations Queen!! 👑💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yolanda M says:

      Thank you so much darling. And thank you for reading. Keep pushing. It’s going to happen

      Like

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