Maybe this has been done to death but its never done till I say something about it.
A good woman. A girl that’s going to love you through think and thin. Be with you when you’re down and broke and still be with you when you’re high and monied. I’m talking about the kind of woman who’s going to cook for you, do your laundry, keep your place clean, hold you down in every way, give you good loving and some fire rounds. Keep it straight and be faithful. Thats my definition of a good girl.
But do you ever notice that these type of women are being cheated on constantly for trashy, one night stands with girls who only care about getting dicked down for the night?! (I’m sorry if I’m being offensive but there really are people like this). Anyway, if I wrote this from my perspective, I’d have thrown in about 10 gangs signs and cussed my life away by now. So this, this here is a chance for the males to explain why when they have what they refer to as a ‘good girl’ but still play her more than Bodak Yellow got played last year. These are the opinions of 3 separate guys:
He said, “In a perfect world the answer would be not to cheat but the world we live in is far from perfect and ‘good’ as a description is all about perception in the sense that what may be good for one might not be necessarily good for another. With that being said, I cannot speak for every man, but rather give you my own male based opinion as to why a man would cheat on a “good” girl (operative word being opinion and actions taken by individuals are liable to perception):
1. Interests – I believe this is important for both genders as interests hold a big role in our day to day lives and routines. You cannot expect a person to be interested in your interests if you can’t find interest in theirs.
2. Confidence – now I don’t just mean expressed by the guy but by the lady as well. Lack of confidence in the relationship is a set up for collapse.
3. Communication – we all know we won’t know what the other is thinking if yall can’t talk. If your ability to talk about any and everything is compromised, kubi. (its bad)
4. Open mindedness – being vocal is one thing, having an open mind is another, this is one of the reasons why people choose not to communicate their thoughts and feelings to begin with. It is important to put judgment aside and be as open as possible for this is your partner after all.
5. Excitement – lack of excitement can can change the way one sees or feels about any situation for example class, gym, driving -it’s more interesting and endurable when it excites you.”
The second guy said: “Bubufebe nje entloko (Being a hoe) plus an ego driven by a primitive need to dominate women. If he doesn’t understand it and doesn’t dominate you sexually, mentally, physically, spiritually and/or financially it makes it easier to find someone they can. The ego is stubborn and men rarely challenge their’s and let it drive them thus the ego will find a quick fix, a sexual drive. It is not only limited to but that is still the primitive part of men that they can’t get over. To prevent it requires both parties to be fully aware of its existence and accept it.”
Lastly, the third guy said “Uhm this is first on how some of guys were raised, not to value woman, that it’s okay to hurt her, she should always cry because of you! I don’t know what is behind that but most of that league is players..
Then comes to us who were raised with insufficient love, I tell you when you grew up not getting any kind of love you never open your heart because you’ve been hurt and neglected by the people you were around whilst growing.. It is so hard to give out something you never had, you don’t know what you doing whether it’s wrong or right thus you end up bottling up your feelings and just cheat with one girl and another!
And yet when you’ve opened up to some other girls and gave your all but they dissapointed you, there you reach a point where you say I’ll just fvck around no more feelings.. We are so afraid of being hurt.. We also human, lento yenu yoba kungehli nokutya because of a person iyenzeka nakuthi! It’s where you decide not to involve feelings anymore but just pretend,there you cannot even see who always has your back..
At other instances you guys are too perfect to be true, let’s take for instance you have a job, you’re beautiful and all.. That’s an intimidation to some other guys, he’ll be more insecure and imagine things that would never happen like surely there are guys who are way better than me and guess you have something on the side.. And he decides to cheat just for back up but that’s wrong!
Faithful women come as a full package, she gives her all, she sacrifices her all.. Wrong!!!! We love being challenged, a guy will be like no lomntana uze wonke and all, some bayadikwa and search for playing elsewhere… Nathi asizazi sifuna ntoni.”
These guys make a lot of sense, valid points as well but I still don’t feel like these are reason enough. Yes there are no 100% women because even with my definition of a good woman taken into account, it might not be enough to some men. Even if communication or love or excitement or commitment is lax, you always have the option of ending things instead of cheating. There is no reason to stay and wallow in a relationship where you know you’re not getting all that you want. A relationship is what you make it. You could enforce what you want to happen if you’re truly passionate and staunch enough about the relationship or simply, LEAVE!
I don’t care what lacks in the relationship because what men simply don’t understand is that while you’re steady giving your all to a man thinking he’s straight with you only to find that he’s playing you for a fool, after that big bang, you change as a person. Pain changes people. There are some amazing women out there! Stop hurting them because you are doing so much damage.
This manifests trust issues, low self esteem and confidence. I’ve personally gone through this. I was the best woman I could possibly be to a man but he chose to treat me like a fool. The effects of that have lasted for years. I don’t easily trust and granted, I might not treat possibly good people in the best way because I’m so busy protecting myself even when there’s no need.
So please, if you’re not happy with your woman, work on the relationship or simply LEAVE! There is no need for all this other crap. Understand that the effects last a long time.
I hope this answered the question for all the ladies who were hungry for the answer.
Love and Light❤️✨