NOT YOUR WINTER STOCK

You know, everybody finds flattery in being wanted by somebody. However, for me this takes a whole other turn when someone will refer to me as “Winter Stock”. 

As I stated in my previous posts about Chubby Girls and Body Shaming, I’m a chunky shorty. Call myself “Chubbz” sometimes. I take pride in my apprearance cause I got the curves.  Thats the way I am. However it saddens me when men try to make me feel like theres something wrong with looking the way I do.

Labelling someone as “Winter Stock” is a form of body shaming. How dare you say that I’m only good for the winter season ?! Do you even know me? Do I look like a blanket? During hot seasons, skinny and petite girls are the preference?

Men make women feel inferior by giving them these tags. To them its harmless or even in some twisted way, a compliment, but when you read into what theyre actually saying is certain women are only good for certain periods of the year. So a chubby girl isnt good for Summer, why? You want a woman but you cant even respect her enough to look past her body? Are we just bodies to be utilised for physical conquests and pleasure only? No! We are people with feelings and intellect!
For some odd reason men feel like they’re doing you a favour by wanting you for Winter. You were not born to be anyone’s blanket. Funny thing about me is that I have a naturally cold body. Throughout the year my hands, legs, feet, nose and lips are always cold. So im not the “winter stock” you want honey. Im a cold bitch. Literally

So ladies, dont let these guys lower your self esteem and make you feel some type of way because of your body. Do not let people’s opinions dictate your life like that. If they want to call you a seasonal stock, let them be. Maybe they’re not good enough for you anyway.

You are every season, every month, every week and everyday stock! You are radiant mama. Flaunt those curves 12months non-stop! 

MY STRETCH MARKS❤


Women are given looks of disapproval and  disgust from men and even other women sometimes when they see you living worry-free with your stretch marks. I was listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Humble. There’s a part in that song that says “show me something natural like ass with some stretch marks”. I was like yeeeeees Dzadzy😂!!!

In 2017, shockingly, there are still people who frown apon having stretch marks like you took time out of your life, sat down and stretched your own skin. They’ll make you feel unattractive and a sort of freak because of them. Little do they know that every contour line on that body is symbolic of your physical growth.

Honestly, I feel like men and some women should stop being childish. Stretch marks are very natural. Its not self inflicted so who are you to bring a woman down and make her feel less worthy because of her stretch marks?! Your staring and rude remarks reflect your level of immaturity. It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. The question is- would you look at your mother with disgust if you saw the stretch marks she endured from carrying you? I think NOT! Take some time and process that!

I find this attitude especially disgusting when women who have given birth are ridiculed by the baby’s father. I can only imagine the feeling of a life growing inside of you and your body stretching to accommodate that baby. Oh my word, the power that females have is amazing😍. Then some idiot will feel the need to bring you down as though you made the baby by yourself. WOW! The funny thing in the case of women will be that they’ll look at a person with stretch marks and be disgusted but the person’s face ALONE beats the hater’s body and entire existence. Shame.

Some stretch marks are brought on by weight gain – in my case. I used to have baby skin clear of imperfections till i started growing up. Even then, I did not ask God to give me stretch marks so being teased about it is really stupid.

I live WITH my stretch marks because I’ve accepted that they’re not going anywhere. After so much money wasted on products trying to remove them, they just became lighter. Me having stretch marks does not affect my IQ in any way, nor does it make me less attractive or less worthy of love, respect, dignity and kindness. If anything, it has made me confident and I walk proudly. I dont try to hide them because they are a part of who I am. I am beautiful WITH my stretch marks honey!

Men and women who still hate on stretch marks need to be fed a steady diet of purity, nestum and breast milk cause they have a lot of growing up to do.

Go forth and be fabulous, you sexy tiger!!!😍
Oh and a special shout out to the men who love their women and their stretch marks. We are your sexy zebras baby!!

Ladies…Don’t use 1ply Toilet Paper

Everytime I talk about this, there is always someone who calls me a “cheesegirl” or “rich” or insists that I’m being “extra”. It’s tags I’ve learned to ignore because I know what they don’t know.

I know I’m not the only person who sees and feels how frail and fragile 1 ply toilet paper is. Sometimes you’ll have flu and attempt to blow your nose with it and most of the contents would end up tearing through its weak structure. Imagine wiping your vagina or anus with it.

I find ladies to be at a disadvantage when it comes to the vaginal area. Its so easy for bacteria or foreign matter so make its way through there. I know I’m not the only one who when using 1ply toilet paper, is left with shreds of it on the vagina due to the fact that its weak and disintegrates easily. As much as this is untidy and irritating, it is also a massive health risk. These shreads of toilet paper can put you through hell if they make their way into the vagina. You could suffer from bladder infections, cysts, vaginal infections, discharge and also a shift in your vaginal pH level and so on. The moment an unnatural particle makes its way into the vagina, you’re screwed. Except a penis ofcourse- we support that object😂🍆

My previous illness has led me to be extra, extra, extra careful about anything that happens in my vaginal area. You can call me picky or obsessive but I insist on Baby Soft toilet paper. Though it may be more expensive than 1 ply toilet paper, it is still the best for me. When I wipe after I have urinated, there aren’t any disintegrated shreds of toilet paper stuck on my vagina. Its strong enough to withstand the urine and doesn’t tear afterwards.

So in order for me to make sure nothing like that happens to me, I always have some toilet paper in my handbag when I am going somewhere because you never know what type of toilet paper is in some people’s toilets. Sometimes I forget, I’m human, and I have to use the questionable, weak brand. When I get to my place after such an occurence, I use Gynaeguard to wash my vag so all the foreign matter is washed off before it stays there for too long, causing a disaster.

And as Trevor Noah once asked before “2 PLY FOR WHAT???????….Well….2 PLY FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!

SESETHU

I’m sure almost everybody has seen or heard of the content of the Sesethu video. This video went viral because of the “share” option. “Share”- a word that would normally carry postive connotations but in this world we live in, sharing content could literally end a life.

It is no secret that pornographic content of any kind excites the average person. We dont blame you for your clits and penises tingling- its perfectly natural. But to then go on to ridicule someone because of that, because of sexual acts- now that’s questionable. I’m sure you sit there and touch yourself too but the only difference here is that she made a video.

I watched the video but I couldnt even finish it cause all I could think of was her mother, her father, her entire family. Did you see her face? That there is a child. Not even done with High School I’m sure. She may be engaging in adult themes but thats the world we live in. Kids can have sex at age 12. Kids have kids. Kids raise kids. So how will anything be fine?!

For the many people who shared this video, what is wrong with you? Females especially. How disgusting. People drop their numbers in comment boxes because they want to see a child masturbating then turn around and make fun of her. What if that was your daughter? Your sister? Your cousin or your relative? Would you still share it? You pass judgement so quick as if she was the one who shared her video all over social media. You blame her like there was something wrong with all that.

Doctors promote masturbation. Wena where is your PhD in Stupidity?! Im so sick and tired of people being able to have so much power over someone else. And it saddens me how she almost tried to take her life. How does that make the person who initially shared this video feel? Good? I wonder.

Cyber laws need to be stricter in this country. This needs to come to an end. Imagine if she had died. As the one who shared the video, would you pay for her casket? Her wreaths? What about the heartache her family would go through hmmm? No. You would do nothing but you would be an accomplice to a murder. You would have a hand in killing her. Because you act high and mighty behind a phone screen but the crux of the matter is that everyone who shared that video has contributed to her shattered psychological and emotional state. You feed off making other people feel small and worthless. Worry not though, there’s a special VIP section in hell waiting for you. You will get what you deserve.

I’m not normally so emotional when I write my posts but today its just too much. This is cyberbullying. This has to stop. It mindf**ks me how people laugh over this. Humans are just empty skeletons walking around because the humanity is gone. I’m sure hell is empty cause all the devils are living amongst us.

I hope Sesethu recovers from all this. I hope she finds peace and strength to carry on living life. I hope she gathers up more reasons to live way more than the number of times her video was shared. I hope she grows up to be a phenomenal woman. A woman of power and love. Ngxesi sisi❤

                                        -end-

5 Reasons Why Xhosa Girls Are Good Girlfriends

Firstly…

Ndingu MaRhadebe

uBhungani

Mthimkhulu

Ndlebe ntle zombini

I am a Xhosa girl. I click my tongue and say words like “sana” and “kaloku”. I pride myself in all this. Today is all about my Xhosa girls! Here are the top 5 reasons, in my opinion…why you should date a Xhosa girl.

1.Beauty👑

I speak for the many I’ve seen but hai sibahle sana!! We’re beautiful. There’s no doubt about it. There’s no Xhosa Butter bethuna. Yikrwatyityi (that orange sack) that we used to wash our bodies growing up. 😂😂 Jonga ngoku senza ama YESESS🔥

2. Domesticated👰

We’re pretty domesticated. We can cook, clean and make your room eback seem like a warm home.😂You’ll even forget everything is in 1 room.

3. Financial Management:💰💳

😂 Apparently Xhosa girls love money. I wouldnt know cause I like my money more than anyone else’s. They’re partly mistaken. Xhosa girls are just good with finances…the spending part. But don’t worry, we’ll help you spend it on the right things.

4. That clicking tongue👅

Pronouncing the “Q” and the “X” really strengthens your tongue and mouth. Thats all I’m going say. Make your own deductions😈

5 SiGreat! Senza umrifithi!!💯

Haters are gonna hate. Potatoes are gonna potate. But who came up with “ziRight igirls”?? “Mntase”? “Gqwirhy”? “uLife utricky chomie”? A Xhosa person! Sina “that thing” in tons marn. Undeniable. 😂 More than anything, what makes us so great is how fiesty we are. Siyaqhuma mntase.🔥

Anyway, dont let social media fool you. Xhosa women make great girlfriends❤

Bafazini Syndrome* 

The term “Bafazini” is used to describe a man who feels the need to dabble or weighin on women issues. Gossipping, hair, nails, complexion…the works.

There’s a difference between being interested and this thing men do. Men will get to a point where they’re arguing with you about something you know better about. How is that possible? I dont understand whether its a lowkey way of coming out of the closet, metrosexuality creeping in or something else.

Couple of weeks back, I was talking about vaginal elasticity. This guy said I must go read up about it since I’m misinformed. 😂😂 Can we just correct all the flaws in that. Last I checked, which was about 2minutes ago- I had a vagina right inbetween my legs. So compared to somone who isn’t an anatomy specialist or an OBGYN and actually has a penis, I KNOW better. Plus, I consider myself to be an intelligent being. He got to a point where he said my man should teach me a lesson because I’m stupid. 😕 Stupid for not listening to a mysogenist man with a penis trying to tell me about vaginal elasticity…wow.

Just the other day a group of ignorant boys (early 20’s are boys to me) were saying that girls with manicures dont wipe their asses properly. 😕. So to break it down according to them- every woman out there with a manicure is walking around with a dirty butthole. I think people expose themselves in that they hang around with people who walk around with sh*t stains in their butts. UPGRADE YOUR GIRLS! Men need to understand that a manicure is not a handicap or a disability. The things we do when we have normal nails are the same things we do when we have a manicure. Only difference is we’re more careful when we have a manicure. Now more than ever its clear that if men had manicures, they wouldnt wipe their buttholes properly. Thinking we use the whole toilet paper roll…how? This is the reason men can’t have manicures. They don’t have the mental capacity to fathom that life still goes on normally with a manicure.

Men will become so concerned about your weave/wig and tracks like they’re the 1 to go through it all. Its not your hair it’ll be attached to, you’re not the 1 who has to manage it and if you didn’t pay for it then its none of your business. Why are you trying to complicate your life when all you need is a R10 chiskop?

So what if females use products to lighten their skin? Are you going to be the 1 to use the products? No. All you do is watch the skin shades get lighter. Your job is to watch only. Nothing more.

There’s nothing wrong with being interested. Ask questions, its ok! I remember my boyfriend’s face when I took off my wig infront of him😂😂. It was like his brain was malfunctioning😂😂. It was a priceless moment. He then asked me why it looks like its attached to my hair. I explained and he understood. He didnt argue with me about money I spent on it, why I have it and why it’s not attached to my hair because its not his business. He doesnt have to worry about that.

I’d like to end off simply by saying.

Men….MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!

Go See A Gynaecologist📣

Ive noticed there’s this fear when it comes to pap smears and going to the gynea. As though you’re gonna feel the pain. Like they’re gonna take a whole chunk of your cervix. When in actual fact the only thing you feel is the small pain from speculum used to open you up a bit.

Anyway Im not an OBGYN. Im not qualified in the medical field but I am a female who has been through 2 gynaechologically related surgeries within the 60 something days of this year. That was not a rosey journey for me, so I feel like I should share what was wrong with me to begin with. Maybe someone out there could be saved by reading this because gynaechological problems are sometimes fatal.

I started having menstrual problems in my matric year, 2010.(Yes I’m old!). I’d have my forever period. Thats what I used to call them…cause they went on for forever! Literally 2 months of bleeding. People would say I’m getting lighter when in actual fact I was becoming pale from so much blood loss. I remember being in Mr Kumar’s English class, 1st period and I remember feeling blood dripping down between my legs down to stain my white socks. See it wasnt 1 of those 3-4 pads a day type of period. It was the whole pack of pads a day kind. 

I started using contraceptives which normalised my flow for a bit till the tap would be opened again. So for years on end, I hopped from 1 contraceptive to another, from Dr to Dr, specialists, clinics….the works! But nothing. I even got to a point where after I was hospitalized from fainting due to severe blood loss- prescribed MENOPAUSE MEDICATION!! Yes! At 24, my mother and I were on the same medication but my dose was stronger. I wont lie, the medication helped abit…until 1 Dr told me that just a few days prior to my appointment, he had seen a woman who had cancer because of the chronic use of this medication. Because my mom and my cousin suffered from the same problem in their youth, I decided to just let it go. Maybe it would go away by itself as I grew. But no….

So I rang into 2017 with backpain and cramps. I just thought it was the effects of the busride from Mthatha to Joburg then a taxi to Mafikeng. Little did I know what was happening inside of me. My period started on the 4th of January 2017. When it didnt stop after a week, I decided to take contraceptives again thinking my forever period is back. 2days later, the flow was getting worse, the cramps, when I urinated I felt like screaming from the immense pain. Being a soldier’s girl, I decided to be strong and ride it out. The night of the 30th of January I could not sleep because of the pain I was in. So at 4am I took a bath and at 5am I headed out to the nearby Gynaecological Hospital. 

That day, my life would change. I spoke to an OBGYN about all my symptoms and basically laid out my life story. Ultrasound found I had fibroids and endometriosis. Pap smear results a week later found that I had cancer indicators. Imagine hearing those kind of news and you’re so far away from home. I felt myself becoming cold. I cried soooo much. I remember the emptiness I felt when I had to let my mother and  partner know that I needed surgery to remove the parts of my cervix that showed I could develop cancer.

Anyway, fast foward to 4weeks- post both my surgeries- I have no indicators of cancer, no more fibroids and all the endometrioma have been burned off. Currently recovering from all that.

So here’s what I’ve learned:

•GO FOR A PAP SMEAR EVERY YEAR!! Some people wont feel anything and never develop symptoms but you never know whats going on inside of you.

•Don’t ignore your symptoms or any pain. It wont just go away by itself.

•Be honest with your Gynaecologist. That person doesnt know whats going on so its up to you to give the full story.

•Ask questions! Dont sit there and be a sponge. Its your body. You have to know whats going on with you.

I hope my story will make you see the importance of pap smears and gynaecologic visits. If I had not gone that day, maybe in a year or so I would have cervical cancer.